I'm an avid facebook user. I opened my account in 2007 and since then have spent many an hour on there. I've "friend"ed people, did some poking, harvested crops, and "like"ed things. The last few months I've been doing a lot of thinking about social media and how it's influenced and changed our lives, mainly relationships. I'm not always the best communicator. I write emails/messages in my head and forget to actually write and send them. I usually decide one day to respond to everything and spend a few hours answering comments, messages, emails, etc.
I came to the conclusion last week-end that facebook and other like minded social media has made me or allowed me to become a lazy communicator. (I don't lump twitter into this because I think often it encourages interaction and communication.) Instead of message/email a friend to find out how they're doing, I check their page and see what they've been up to. Why call to chat when I can read their messages between their friends. I want to make more of a conscious effort to think about a friend then send them an email, text, phone call.
If you follow me on twitter you might recall last week we had my in-laws mad about some photos we had put on facebook 5 years ago and forgot about. Also a couple of my "friends" on facebook were having angry rants about how nobody messages them on there anymore. I just got tired of the drama of it. If you really care, give someone a call, not write a status about how they won't message you. Then I got to thinking perhaps I should clean my list a bit, get rid of the people who cause the most drama and drive me nuts with their statuses. I got to looking and a bunch of people I either don't know, don't know well, or haven't talked to in 9 years. I don't invite them into my home while I'm away to look through my photo albums, read conversations between friends, or see my favorite movie collection. Why do I allow them that on facebook?
So Jon and I decided to delete our accounts. Well he did his already. But I'm still in the process. I deleted all the people I never talk to who added me just to snoop my life. And come on -- I snoop theirs. I deleted all my photos. And one day soon I'll delete everything else. I didn't want to delete everything in case I changed my mind. But I still feel the same about it. I'll keep an account so I can keep my shop facebook page for now. And who knows maybe I'll be back to having a personal page some day. But for now I need off it. I'm not knocking or judging if you "like" facebook. But this is just my thought process right now for my life.
So What the Hell Facebook? Thanks for making it too convenient to keep up with friends' lives that I've become a lazy communicator.
p.s. I keep writing "What The Hello Wednesday"! Kinda ironic.
I see where you're coming from, Carissa and I applaud you for taking this approach.
ReplyDeleteI've been very undecided about FB for a long, long time. Since I live so far from home, I do find it convenient to keep FB up and use it as an "online address book" so to speak for people I went to College with, highschool with, etc.
However, (and without wanting to praise myself), I didn't let it make me a lazy communicator. Instead, I use it as an "extra" way to communicate... write little comments and notes on peoples updates and photos.... while I still write TONS of emails (and even real letters!).
So, I guess it really depends on how you use it.
Let us know about your off-FB-journey. :)
I'm glad you're making a decision not to be a lazy communicator! I've found it helps me communicate with people more, but that's just me.
ReplyDeleteNow, I did recently "clean up" my facebook. I got rid of the people I don't talk to, don't care to talk to, or don't want barging into my life. I've really just used facebook as a way to communicate with people I already see regularly. It's also a way I keep up with family who I would otherwise not talk to. I have 7 aunts and uncles, their spouses, and kids that I'm friends with. Most of these people would have spent the rest of my life relegated to "Christmas Card" status, but now, I actually know what's going on in their lives.
I'm glad that you're being proactive in your relationships! Everything you do to interact with people should always be to help connect with them. If facebook helps, keep it, if it doesn't get rid of it! And I think it's awesome that you can tell the difference and make a move to change it!
I've thought about doing this as well. I just need to take the time to organize all my photos somewhere else on the web first.
ReplyDeleteOh and I almost forgot! "What The Hello Wednesday" made me smile!
ReplyDeleteOk, I agree with everything you said. FB, just makes it too easy to, well I guess, stalk people? It's sad that when someone asks you how someone is and you can answer "well their FB status said...this, but I haven't talked to them in a long time". In a way, it's kinda heartbreaking. I think that it's awesome that you are putting your foot down and deleting your FB. I don't know if I could do it? But I do find myself using it less and less on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteThank-you! I totally hear ya! I used to use it as a way to keep in touch and communicate when I lived far away. It's great for that! I moved closer to everyone a year and a bit ago so that purpose no longer exists! But I have a few people on there still where it would be really useful. I'll have to make sure I contact them frequently :) And who knows maybe after an undetermined break I'll miss it??
ReplyDeleteyeah, I made sure I had all the photos on my computer first! They also do this thing where you can download all the info off your facebook. I didn't try it but that might be easiest?
ReplyDeleteExactly! Have to do what works best for each person!
ReplyDeleteI've totally done that! "According to their facebook..." Yeah I'm doing it in small steps. I found I was using it less and less too. So I think that helps. Every couple days I delete a bit more off it. Perhaps in a week it'll be all gone?
ReplyDelete